


Cadence

by notjustmom



Series: Words, Words, Words [236]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kinda sorta angsty, M/M, Sherlock Takes Care Of John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7586155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cadence: noun: KAY-dunss: the beat, time, or measure of rhythmical motion or activity</p><p>from Merriam-Webster:</p><p>Falling into the hands of English speakers in the 14th century, cadence derives via Middle English and Old Italian from the Latin verb cadere, meaning "to fall." (Cadere can be found in the history of many common English words, including decay, coincide, and accident.) We most often hear cadence used in contexts pertaining to voice or music—it might refer to the familiar way in which someone speaks, or the rhythms employed by a rap artist, or the rising and falling notes of a bird's call. Cadenza, the Old Italian word that factors into the history of cadence, has its own place in English as well. Cadenza in English usually refers to a brilliant musical flourish played before closing out an aria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cadence

Sherlock could tell from the cadence of John's steps that something was off. His normal stride was brisk and purposeful, not the hesitant, uneven steps that were slowly bringing his husband up the stairs. He had been working extra hours lately; one of the doctors was on maternity leave, not due back for another month, but it was more than exhaustion he was hearing, something was bothering him.

He got up from his perch on his chair and sighed. The flat was a disaster - maybe he could stop John from - damn.

"For once, just for once - ?"

"I'm sorry - I was going to, I was working through a case and lost - "

"track of time, yeah, I know." John pinched his nose and took a deep breath.

"Angelo's? Or I can order some Thai, you look like you haven't eaten all day."

John shook his head. "I just need you. Please?"

Sherlock nodded. "Tell me?"

John squeezed his eyes tightly and shook his head again. "I can't, not yet, I just need you to hold me? Please, can you, without trying to deduce it out of me, just be here, be present for me?"

Without another word, Sherlock helped John sit on the couch, and removed his shoes and socks, then helped him out of coat and jumper, leaving him in his vest, trousers and pants. He looked at the tension in John's face, his hand was quivering intermittently...no...he stopped, and touched his hand lightly. "Come with me, love." John stood up and let Sherlock take him to bed. 

"Do you want me to undress?"

John nodded. "Please, I need, actually, I don't know what I need, I just need to feel you around me, please? I feel like I'm flying apart."

Sherlock slid the robe from his shoulders, and slowly unbuttoned the indigo shirt, he watched as John's eyes slowly darkened and teared up at the same time. "Your mum." Sherlock whispered.

"I thought we had time, I thought she might..."

Sherlock finished undressing, then climbed onto the bed, removed John's remaining clothing, then pressed his body into John's, covering the sobbing, trembling man beneath him. "I'm so sorry love. I'm so so sorry."

Sherlock had never been formally introduced, had only a brief glimpse of John's mum as she had fled the flat the day when John had told her that he was marrying Sherlock. She hadn't said a word; her tearful, disdainful look spoke for her. John never made mention of their meeting, but was quiet for the next few days afterward until they had a rash of cases, and were too busy to...

"She never spoke to me again, Sherlock. I think, I think I broke her heart."

"You did nothing of the sort, John. She had been sick for a long time, you know that, as a doctor, you know that. Do not take that on yourself, love, please." Sherlock bit his lip, knowing nothing he said would help John right now, his logical rationalisations could not help his best friend, lover and husband as he struggled to make sense of his mother's death.

"Tell me, love, tell me what you need from me, please?"

"Hold me, just hold me, Sherlock. Please."

Sherlock held him as he wept silent tears. "Do you know, the thing, the very first thing I noticed about you?"

John shook his head and Sherlock felt his breathing change slightly.

"Your kindness. You didn't even know my name and yet, you offered me your phone. Over the next two days, you saved my life, and I don't just mean when you shot the cabbie. When you told me it was fine, it was fine you said, if I had a boyfriend. You took me as I was, as I am, somehow you knew I would become worthy enough to wear your ring some day."

"Oh, Sherlock, love. You always were, always. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you, you never had to prove anything to me, or earn your way into my heart. No, don't shake your head. Hey, look at me, yeah, there, oh, love...your love for me is astonishing. You saved me that day, and you continue to every time you make that face as I say something completely ridiculous, or the way you sound when we make love, that sound - that sound alone, I swear, if it could be bottled..."

Sherlock blushed and tried to look away, but John touched his face and he couldn't move.

"No, I know it wasn't anything I did or we did. She made her choice to stay out of my life, the life we share. And it is a shame that she never knew you, knew me as I am with you. You gave me permission to love and be loved, and she couldn't understand it, couldn't see how happy you made me, how happy you make me every day. I'm so sorry she didn't get to know you, know us. I think it would have surprised her. Will you, please, please make love to me?"

Sherlock blinked, then looked into John's eyes, and saw only the love that he'd always seen, open, honest and mind-boggling. "You never need ask me twice." He took his time, watching John's face as he found all of those places, that made his strong, sensitive, beautiful man moan his name, grip his shoulders tightly, and hold on for dear life. Finally they were both there, eyes open, tears running freely, as John let go, and Sherlock followed quickly after him.

"You are the only family I need, love." John whispered when he finally found his voice again. "You are all I need."


End file.
